Sunday, 30 April 2023

REVIEW: The Tank (2023) - Starring Luciane Buchanan, Mark Mitchinson and Matt Whelan

The Tank follows the tale of a young family who inherit a stunning, if neglected, stretch of Oregon coastline including a gorgeous old house. Ben (Matt Whelan) and Jules (Luciane Buchanan), a young couple and their young daughter Reia (Zara Nausbaum), are astonished to discover that Ben's late mother left them it all in a will because she never once mentioned the property. The property is next to the magnificent Pacific and has spectacular vistas, beautiful natural lighting, and of course, an overzealous agent trying to convince the couple to sell even though the house and infrastructure have been neglected for years. Unfortunately, there are some very old, sinister secrets attached to the property.

Ben and Jules are welcomed by an estate agent with a sizable offer for the property before they even have a chance to recover from the hike out to the magnificent but dilapidated sight. Ben later finds a hidden hatch on the property that unlocks The Tank while he is trying to collect his thoughts as he is strolling the grounds. An intricate network of aqueducts, valves, and underground tunnels may be found inside. Ben, who tends to be curious of such things, observes that the tank is broken. He chooses to attempt to fix and restart the broken device because he quite skilled at the old DIY. By doing this, he awakens a dark power that has lain dormant inside The Tank for a while.

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REVIEW: Peter Pan & Wendy - Starring Alexander Molony, Ever Anderson and Jude Law

In recent years, Disney seems to be only interested in remaking classic films based on 100+ year old books and giving them a "woke" overhaul. Well, a remake that no one asked for is here in Peter Pan & Wendy. Before I start, if you are actually interested in watching a Peter Pan film for the first time, go and watch the live-action Peter Pan (2003), or even better, go watch Peter Pan (1954), possibly the most famous version of the story. If you have already seen those films and, for some reason, want to watch yet another version, then read on for my opinion.

Wendy Darling (Ever Anderson) is spending her last night at home with her parents, George (Alan Tudyk) and Mary (Molly Parker), and her two younger brothers, John (Joshua Pickering) and Michael (Jacobi Jupe), before going to boarding school the next day. Wendy is unhappy with her departure and tells her mother that she does not want to grow up. Later that night, the ethnically ambiguous Peter Pan (Alexander Molony) appears in the Darlings' nursery. Having heard of Wendy's wish, he claims that he has come to take her to Neverland, where she will never have to grow up. With the help of Peter's companion and friend, African American/Native American/Iranian fairy Tinker Bell (Yara Shahidi), Wendy, John, and Michael all fly to Neverland.

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REVIEW: Scream VI (2023) - Starring Melissa Barrera, Jenna Ortega, Jasmin Savoy Brown, Mason Gooding, Hayden Panettiere, and Courteney Cox

Welcome to the sequel to Scream (2022), which was supposed to relaunch the Scream franchise but turned out to be a direct sequel to Scream 4. Now, we have Scream 6, meaning we never had a movie titled Scream 5. Yes, it's a bit confusing, but the Scream franchise was never too concerned about logic. It's just your classic slasher film with lots of blood and dumb teens.

One year after the Woodsboro killings orchestrated by Richie Kirsch (Jack Quaid) and Amber Freeman, a Blackmore University professor named Laura Crane (Samara Weaving) is catfished by her student Jason Carvey (Tony Revolori), who lures her outside a bar in New York City and murders her while wearing a Ghostface costume. Jason plots with his roommate Greg to kill sisters Sam (Melissa Barrera) and Tara Carpenter (Jenna Ortega) to finish the "movie" that Richie and Amber wanted to make. However, Jason receives a call from a different Ghostface, who has killed Greg and subsequently stabs Jason to death.

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REVIEW: Kids vs. Aliens (2023) - Starring Dominic Mariche, Phoebe Rex, Calem MacDonald and Asher Grayson

I had this film ready to review a while back, but as usual I never bothered to read the synopsis, so I assumed that this was some kids film, boy was I wrong. As soon as it starts I see that glorious Shudder logo, and damn I know this just has to be a horror film. But hey what do I know, maybe Shudder are suddenly going into the kids market?

The film starts off with some fishmen in the middle of the sea being attacked by what we can assume are aliens.

We then cross over to a group of older teenagers, Billy (Calem MacDonald), Dallas (Isaiah Fortune), and Trish (Emma Vickers), are searching for a place to host their Halloween party. They come across young friends Gary (Dominic Mariche), Jack (Asher Grayson), and Miles (Ben Tector) who are filming a homemade fantasy movie in a barn with Gary's older sister Samantha (Phoebe Rex). At this point you will get major Stranger Things vibes, except all the kids are normal and without any psychic powers, anyway, Billy and his friends start bullying the boys until Billy shows interest in Samantha. Samantha becomes enamoured with Billy, but Gary breaks his arm during the filming, and Samantha's parents ground her for the incident. Moreover, Gary criticizes Samantha for giving up on her role in the movie to pursue an adult persona that may impress Billy.

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Wednesday, 26 April 2023

REVIEW: Classic Racers Elite on Nintendo Switch

I was asked to review a new racing game for Nintendo Switch called Classic Racers Elite.

This hill-climbing style racer is similar to rally courses, where cars race one by one and their times are collated at the end. The objective is simple: get from the start to the finish as fast as possible, while avoiding obstacles and trying not to crash when faced with tight u-turns.

It seems the game is set in the 1960s as there is a nice selection of classic cars to choose from.

Gameplay is pretty straightforward, with standard controls: the right trigger for acceleration, the left trigger for braking, and handbrake and steering. The game handles well and the cars feel pretty decent. I played on the Nintendo Switch Lite and the graphics were okay, if not brilliant. There aren't a massive amount of tracks, but the replay factor mainly comes from the leaderboards.


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Sunday, 23 April 2023

REVIEW: Assassin (2023) - Starring Bruce Willis and Nomzamo Mbatha

Well, it is finally here, the last ever film featuring Bruce Willis. I know it has seemed like his last five films were the last, but this is the legit final film of a legendary career.

The film starts out with an older man seemingly a bit confused, a female voiceover is heard saying "this is not my body" and as a young man approaches the same voice says "this is not my son." Before you know it, the older man hits his son with a cane. We cut away to a woman in an ice bath with a wetsuit on, and Bruce Willis looking over her.

Cut to a man in a coma, Sebastian (Mustafa Shakir) used to be a drone pilot until a job-related mishap left him in this state, his wife Alexa (Nomzamo Mbatha) is furious and seeking explanations. We get some flashbacks of their life together. She confronts Valmora (Bruce Willis), her husband's employer who leads a private military operation, for answers. Although she starts the encounter with a gun pointed at his head, Alexa ends up rescuing Valmora from a woman wielding a knife and riding a bicycle. The attacker denies any knowledge of the assault, which is the latest in a string of comparable incidents.

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Saturday, 22 April 2023

REVIEW: Ghosted (2023) - Starring Chris Evans and Ana de Armas

We've had quite a few action-adventure romantic comedies recently, and the latest one is directed by Dexter Fletcher of "Press Gang" fame! Yes, I'll always go back to "Press Gang".

Sadie Rhodes (Ana de Armas) is a CIA operative who's feeling a bit down in the dumps, perhaps because she's got no missions going on. Then she meets Cole Turner (Chris Evans), this needy but charming farmer guy who sells his produce at a local market. At first, they argue over plants, but after some encouragement from a co-worker, they hit it off and end up doing the deed. But when Cole texts Sadie and doesn't get a response, his sister thinks Sadie's "ghosting" him because he's too clingy. So, against everyone's advice, Cole tracks her down to London using a tracker on his inhaler.

Just as he's about to find her, Cole falls into a trap set by some arms dealers who are after this CIA operative called "The Taxman." They drug him and take him to a cave in Pakistan, where they torture him trying to get the passcode they think he knows. But then this masked hero shows up and saves Cole - and it turns out to be Sadie! She's the "Taxman"! Together they run through the Khyber Pass, escaping from the bad guys who work for some French Intelligence agent called Leveque. He's got a bioweapon called "Aztec" that he's trying to sell but he can't even unlock it.

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Friday, 21 April 2023

REVIEW: Last Sentinel - Starring Kate Bosworth

Directed by Tanel Toom.

The year is 2063, a war-ravaged Earth, combined with climate change means the Earth has only two small continents left as the seas have risen to engulf the rest, resulting in an endless war between them. Both sides have built watchtowers and provided them with powerful weaponry, incase another attack commences. Four exhausted soldiers man Sentinel, a remote military base in the middle of the ocean between the two remaining continents, Cassidy (Kate Bosworth), Sullivan (Lucien Laviscount), and Baines (Martin McCann) under the leadership of Hendrichs (Thomas Kretschmann), find themselves waiting for anything at all to happen.

A relief crew was supposed to arrive three months ago, but it has yet to do so. An empty ship called the Aurora drifts into view, what happened to it?, where is the crew?, can they use the boat to escape between storms. The commander wants to use the supplies from the Aurora to continue the waiting game, while the rest of the crew wants to repair it and sail home.

With a nuke sat there ready to be used, there are a lot of questions to be asked, and decisions to be made.

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REVIEW: Joe Wander and the Enigmatic Adventures on PC (Steam)

"Joe Wander and the Enigmatic Adventures" is the latest 3D action puzzle platforming game made by Frozen Pixel. You play as an Indiana Jones-type character and travel across four different worlds, each with several levels to complete.

Each level has a set number of coins to collect and, ultimately, a coloured diamond. When you collect enough coins and the diamond, you can then enter the next level, and so on until you complete that world and enter the next.

General gameplay consists of 3D platforming with a fixed camera. You can run, jump, and use your whip. The whip allows you to stun certain enemies, enabling you to jump on them and destroy them. It also allows you to grab onto items you need to move and helps you swing across gaps that cannot be jumped.

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REVIEW: POOSH XL on Nintendo Switch

Sometimes all you want in life is a super simple, pick up and play, one button arcade score chasing game, well guess what? POOSH XL is just that.

You only need to worry about pressing one button, no directions, no left and right, just press one button.

The main idea of the game is to climb as high in the level as you can and avoid the obstacles along the way. Take too long and the floor will catch up with you and kill you, hit anything and you die. You will see a circle on screen, with a moving directional arrow attached to it, when you press a button, you will fire off in the direction pointed at. The higher you get, the better your score, and really folks that is it.

The main game is just an endless climb, complete the odd challenge here and there to unlock skins, but basically just get as high of a score as you can, see the leader board to compare yourself to others and try to be the best.

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REVIEW: Colonials (2023) - Starring Daniel Roebuck, Greg Kriek, Sean Kanan and Jamie Bernadette

I haven't seen a good low-budget sci-fi film in a while, so when approached to review the new sci-fi film Colonials from directors Andrew Balek (Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End) and Joe Bland (Ellipse), how could I refuse? Add in that the film runs for just under 80 minutes, and you have my attention.

The story of Colonials begins with Silas (Greg Kriek), a space explorer travelling from Mars, who embarks on a reconnaissance mission to Earth, which lies in ruin, to figure out what happened to the "humans of old". Unfortunately, he encounters the Exiles, a dangerously advanced and perilously evil Moon-based civilization that destroys his ship, causing him to crash-land alone on Earth after being separated from his squadron.

Zoey (Jamie Bernadette), a member of the resistance, finds him and tries to determine why he has returned to Earth, but he has lost his memory in the accident. Meanwhile, the Moon enforcers view this encounter as an opportunity to gain an advantage over the resistance.

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REVIEW: ONI: Road to be the Mightiest Oni on PC (Steam)

ONI: Road to be the Mightiest Oni feels like it should be Early Access, but I cant see any note of that on the Steam page, therefore I will have to treat it as a final release.

Created by a team of 5 developers, over 2 years, the game has been designed to give the player the feel that they have jumped into the pages of a childhood picture book. You play on Kisejima Island, a relatively small area.

You play as demon warrior Kuuta, and later on as his partner Kazemaru, gameplay mainly consists of exploring the area, collecting items and challenging the phantoms of demons that appear across the island. As you defeat your enemies and collect their souls, you will unlock new areas to play in. Eventually you will need to defeat the evil monster Momotaro.

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Tuesday, 11 April 2023

REVIEW: Chupa (2023) - Starring Evan Whitten, Demián Bichir and Christian Slater.

The moment I heard about this film, I knew I had to watch it, I am a big fan of the Chupacabra myth, and I don't recall ever seeing a film that featured one in such a way, I am sure such films exist but I can't think of one.

In 1996, a government doctor named Richard Quinn (Christian Slater) is on the hunt for the Chupacabra, a mythical creature believed to possess healing powers that could revolutionize medicine. He tracks down a Chupacabra and her cub in an old mine in San Javier but injures the adult while chasing her. The wounded Chupacabra leaves her cub hidden to distract Quinn and his team and lead them away.

Thirteen-year-old Alex (Evan Whitten) travels to Mexico for the first time to meet his extended family after his father Beto dies from cancer. Alex meets his energetic wrestling-obsessed cousin Memo (Nickolas Verdugo), fearless hip cousin Luna (Ashley Ciarra), and former lucha libre champion grandfather Chava (Demián Bichir). On his first night, Alex discovers a young Chupacabra cub licking a cut on his hand. Realizing the creature is "different", he keeps it a secret.

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Monday, 10 April 2023

REVIEW: Creed III(3)- Starring Michael B. Jordan

I know I am a bit late to watch Creed 3, but I've been busy! Anyway I thought I would check it out, better late than never.

In 2002 Los Angeles, a youthful Adonis Creed, nicknamed "Donnie" (played by Thaddeus J. Mixon), sneaks out with his friend, Golden Gloves champion Damian Anderson, also known as "Diamond Dame" (played by Spence Moore II), to watch him compete in an illegal boxing match. After Damian's triumph, he shares with Donnie his dream of becoming a professional boxer and a world champion. During a detour to a liquor store, Donnie impulsively attacks a man named Leon, leading to Damian's arrest while Donnie flees.

In the present day, Donnie (Michael B. Jordan) has retired from boxing to focus on his wife Bianca (played by Tessa Thompson) and their daughter Amara, who has a hearing impairment, causing the family to learn American Sign Language. Donnie runs Delphi Boxing Academy with Tony Evers Jr. (played by Wood Harris) and is promoting his protege, world champion Felix Chavez (José Benavidez Jr.), in a match against Viktor Drago (Florian Munteanu). As Donnie watches his adoptive mother Mary-Anne's (Phylicia Rashad) deteriorating health, Amara (Mila Davis-Kent) expresses her desire to follow in Donnie's footsteps and become a boxer, which results in her getting into trouble at school for punching another student.

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Sunday, 9 April 2023

REVIEW: Inside (2023) Starring Willem Dafoe

From Vasilis Katsoupis in his feature directorial debut comes Inside, a psychological thriller starring the always excellent Willem Dafoe in a pretty much solo role.

Nemo (Willem Dafoe), an art thief, recounts a childhood memory in which he was asked by his teacher to choose three items to save in a house fire. Instead of his family, Nemo picked his cat, an AC/DC album, and his sketchbook, but unfortunately the cat died and he never got the album back from a friend. However, he still cherishes his sketchbook and believes that "art is for keeps".

In the present day, Nemo, disguised as a handyman, he breaks into a wealthy art collector's penthouse to steal three pieces of art by Austrian painter
Egon Schiele but is unable to find one of them, a self-portrait. As he tries to leave, the security system activates and seals the apartment, leaving Nemo trapped.
 
His contacts abandon him, and his attempts to escape fail due to extreme temperatures, lack of food and water, and injury. He survives on timed sprinklers and witnesses the death of a trapped pigeon.

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Saturday, 8 April 2023

REVIEW: 65 (2023) - Starring Adam Driver & Ariana Greenblatt

"65" is an American science fiction action-thriller film written and directed by Scott Beck and Bryan Woods.

At just 86 minutes, minus credits, this film has already ticked a huge box for me regarding runtime. But is the film any good?

Let's first take a look at the plot.

On the distant, technologically advanced planet Somaris, pilot Mills (Adam Driver) convinces his wife (Nika King) that he should take on a two-year space expedition to earn money needed to treat their daughter Nevine's (Chloe Coleman) illness. However, on the journey back to Somaris, their spaceship is hit by a mass of asteroids and crash-lands on an uncharted planet. With his ship damaged and split in half, he finds that his passengers have been killed and contemplates suicide until he finds a lone survivor, a young girl named Koa (Ariana Greenblatt). Mills decides to take care of Koa. However, the two have difficulty communicating due to differing languages and a broken translator. The unknown planet is then revealed to be Earth 65 million years ago during the Cretaceous period.

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Friday, 7 April 2023

REVIEW: Shazam! Fury of the Gods - Starring Zachary Levi, Lucy Liu and Helen Mirren

Shazam! Fury of the Gods sequel to Shazam! (2019) and the 12th instalment in the DC Extended Universe (DCEU) has just been released on digital, despite still being in cinemas. I have no issue with this, as not everyone can get to cinemas these days, so why make people wait?

Two years after Thaddeus Sivana's defeat, Hespera (Helen Mirren) and Kalypso (Lucy Liu), two of the daughters of the Titan Atlas, break into the Acropolis Museum in Athens, Greece to steal the Wizard's broken staff. The two then take it to the Wizard, who is imprisoned in the Gods' Realm, and force him to repair the staff and activate its powers.

In Philadelphia, Billy Batson (Zachary Levi & Asher Angel) and his "Shazamily" of foster siblings save people on the collapsing Benjamin Franklin Bridge, but are called out for its destruction. The group is drifting apart at home due to them growing up and having personal interests. Billy is worried about being kicked out of the Vasquez family after he ages out of the foster system. In a dream, Billy is warned by the Wizard about the Daughters, prompting the Shazamily to begin researching them.

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REVIEW: The Fix (2024 Sci-Fi Thriller Film) Starring Grace Van Dien, Daniel Sharman and Keenan Arrison

Kelsey Egan's "The Fix" is an ambitious science fiction thriller set in a dystopian future dominated by corporate greed and ...